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Here's something I learned when I did some last-minute enterprise reporting in the bar, by which I mean I Googled Alana Blanchard: Alana is not an uncommon name. And yet, type "Alana" into the world's largest search engine and wait for it to suggest a.. Alana is late becausewell, because of course she's late. She's a busy womanInternet celebrity, Sports Illustrated and Maxim swimsuit model, watery sex icon, and, oh yeah, Women's World Tour surfer. She's on the go so much that meeting up for this lunch in Southern Californiaone.. As we are seated on the patio, and as we make small chat, and as I contemplate the yachts in the back, I realize how ridiculous it is that I'm here, given that, to me, Alana Blanchard is more or less just a name I've.. Of course it's OK. I sit in the bar, and I watch rubber-molded women knock back elderflower cocktails with impressive efficiency. I wonder about what they'll do with the rest of their day, and I decide that the word "treatment"spa, botox, psychologist'swill probably be involved.. You get a link to a video that I didn't click on but which has a still image of what appears to be Alana Blanchard's wet sideboob. You get Alana Blanchard in a bikini, slightly bent forward, giving you a come-hither stare (SI again)..

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I know that surely there is somebody more qualified to write about her. And that's about all I know. And then I realize that it's exceedingly likely that I have been given this assignment primarily because I'm a married father of two with a daughter.

GALLERY : But whatever. Because as we sit here on the back patio of this restaurant, and as I wonder when a Bento box became a lunch thing, and as Alana and I talk, I realize that Alana Blanchard is very aware of everything I've.

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